Here’s what I understand of Nirvana: People fight to attain it. Achieve it. Then fall out of it. The place is more of a purpose. The purpose is to always find your way back to it.
I try to repeat that night. I try to find that night again and again. Sometimes, I slip back through small things—a red veined leaf pressed to flat to the bed of a shallow stream. Sometimes, I slip through unintentionally—a round table filled with friends at the Cheesecake factory. And sometimes, it happens just when it must—a walk philosophic on an evening when the moon peaks through a palm frond at me.
But never it exactly. Never what I remember. And I understand how time moves forward and all the science behind that. But I still try to realchemize the pieces, which include you, together. Hoping to get back to that night so I can write with all the skill I now possess the poem I never did.
You’ll notice a theme in my NaPoWriMo submissions—about a memory of mine. It’s because I actually am trying to write about this memory so I’m using NaPoWriMo as an opportunity to brainstorm how to best express it.